I watched his eyes roll to the ceiling as his brain began to buffer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A family member who very rarely gives compliments actually said something positive. \u201cYou did a great job!\u201d he gleefully said to my cousin about a project he had worked on and was detailing to us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We all were kind of stunned. Again, this family member is astute at snatching contempt out of the jaws of encouragement. He\u2019s masterful at it. Hence, our amazement that something mildly uplifting emanated from him. Sure, it was only five words, but that was five more than usual, and we were all elated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the buffering\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I watched it happen in real time. It felt like an hour, but I\u2019m sure it was no more than 15 seconds. He was searching for something negative to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOf course,\u201d he started, as my stomach bottomed out at the thought of the words to come. I won\u2019t say what he said because, honestly, it\u2019s not worth repeating. But here\u2019s what I kept mulling over long after he landed his insensitive remarks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t think it was conscious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t think he thought, \u201cNow, what can I say that will cut the person down a few notches?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I truly believe that he said something positive and encouraging, and then it felt wrong to leave it there. It felt weird to him. Then, I thought about how many times I had done this. How many times had I said something kind to someone, then instantly found a little sarcastic jab to get in under the guise of \u201cjoking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t be alone. Have you done that? Have you noticed it in yourself? I know it\u2019s easy to notice when it\u2019s being done to us or around us, but it\u2019s a lot more difficult to notice when we\u2019re doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So the question is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why is it so difficult to let kindness have the last word?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why the little \u201cbite\u201d at the end? What is that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t speak for you. But I know, as I analyze it in myself, I realize that, at some level, I\u2019m not internalizing God\u2019s great love for me. I know that may sound like I\u2019m overspiritualizing, but I don\u2019t think I am. Look at what scripture says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.<\/em>” \u2014 Colossians 3:12<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a scripture I\u2019ve written about before and probably will again. It\u2019s that important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The kindness I extend is because of the kindness I\u2019ve been shown. Conversely, if I\u2019m unable to extend this kindness, it may indicate I\u2019m not fully understanding what Christ did for me on Calvary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So the little \u201cnegative buffering\u201d example I had from my cousin caused me to check myself. Can I be kind? Just kind\u2026nothing extra, no extraneous words masked as a joke or clever observation that negates the kindness at its core.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can I give encouragement? Can I be gentle? Can I be merciful?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can kindness have the last word even when I think other words are needed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m challenging myself, and hopefully you, too. We live in a graceless, unkind, brutally harsh culture. The pure fruit of kindness would go a long way in encouraging people to \u201ctaste and see that the Lord is good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because, honestly, if we are bitter\u2026 why would anyone ever want to try HIM?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sherri Lynn <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I watched his eyes roll to the ceiling as his brain began to buffer. A family member who very rarely gives compliments actually said something positive. \u201cYou did a great…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":404,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-05-13 20:29:16","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/403","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/403\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/404"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upliftingstar.com\/star991\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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