What a Year of Heartbreak Taught Me About the Goodness of God

The past year for me was filled with way more pain, sadness, grief, fear, loneliness than I’ve ever experienced before. And, looking back, I can have gratitude for those feelings. 

Pain is actually really important. Of course we don’t want to feel pain, we want all the good feelings all the time right? But over the past year I’ve really grown to appreciate the “bad” feelings. 

Besides the fact that I have a toddler and if I tell him not to touch the really hot cup of coffee and he touches it anyway, he will quickly learn what “hot” means. That’s one good thing about pain. 

First in September last year, my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Wow I had never felt fear like I did that day when he went to the ER and the weeks leading up to his surgery. Thank God he is fully recovered and has absolutely no side effects! 

Then in October, my grandma (dad’s mom) passed away and I was heartbroken because we never got to have the relationship I really wanted. A week later, I miscarried. And Mike was in Texas when it happened. I was completely devastated, completely broken, and more lonely than I had ever been. 

Then I started letting God heal me. 

He took the broken pieces in His potter hands. He made something beautiful. 

You know what’s really cool about God? He redeems every tear. And while I’ve experienced a level of grief I didn’t understand before, it’s made joy so much sweeter, peace so much gentler, laughter so much more healing. And in every season of darkness, God is so faithful to bring the light in.

Because of this new understanding of these “bad” feelings, every “good” feeling is better! Every smile is bigger! I get to feel and appreciate those emotions deeper too! And I get a new insight and understanding for those around me feeling those hard ones too. 

So I just wanted to share that if you’re feeling sad, lonely, depressed etc., if you let God handle the mending, He will be so faithful to create something even more beautiful with those broken pieces than you thought was possible. And He’ll use you to be a blessing to someone else too. 

He heals the brokenhearted
    and bandages their wounds. – Psalm 147:3

Kristen James
Morning Show Host, STAR 99.1